OK folks, time for a serious posting today. I read this story online http://news.yahoo.com/s/yblog_thelookout/20110524/ts_yblog_thelookout/parents-keep-childs-gender-under-wraps and it really made me stop and think. So I want you to do the same. Stop, read the link, think about it and then switch back here to see my thoughts. Also answer my poll question on the upper left side of this post and then leave your comments at the bottom. My views can be read by clicking the "Read More" link. I didn't want my opinion to alter yours. Enjoy and don't forget to comment.
I have to admit at first I thought that this story was odd. I realized however, that the only reason I thought it was odd was because it was something totally new to me. So I thought more about it and realized that this sort of amazingly independent thinking is the sort of thing that can change minds and even more importantly, the world. Keep in mind for the sake of this story that there is a difference between the words sex and gender. The World Health Organization defines them as follows:
"Sex" refers to the biological and physiological characteristics that define men and women.
"Gender" refers to the socially constructed roles, behaviors, activities, and attributes that a given society considers appropriate for men and women.
Society places such rigid definitions on our gender. It starts even before we are born. As soon as a couple knows the sex of their child, they start buying blue or pink to establish their gender identity. Baby blue and baby pink aren't even great colors and aside from babies, nobody even uses them but if we want to conform to society we must immediately decorate our nurseries accordingly. Even still today,how many of us looked at our baby boy and said I hope hes a doctor or a lawyer or that our baby girl is a nurse or teacher. While in today's times there aren't rigid gender rules to these occupations, we as adults automatically add fuel to the fire albeit unintentionally. Dads want to play catch and fish with their sons, and moms want to shop and play dress up with their daughters.
As kids grow up, the toys they play with are the next thing society decides upon. Girls play with dolls and play dressup, boys play with cars and guns. Obviously there is some crossover if a family has multiple children where a boy might play dolls with his sister or a girl may play cars with her brother. but at the end of the day he has the car and she has the doll.
Clothing is the next way that we define our kids. Boys in rugged pants and overalls, girls in frilly dresses and pretty shoes. Again, there is some crossover here but if you need a better example think about everyone's favorite target in this instance, Shiloh Joile-Pitt. Shiloh can't walk out of her house with a tie on or carrying a sword without the media and if we are all honest with ourselves, all of us too, commenting on her dressing "like a boy". If the worst thing that Shiloh does in this world is wear a tie, pants or play with swords, then take that as a Hollywood success story. Does what we wear really define us that well?
Look through your closet, do the clothes you wear define you as a person? If someone looked at the contents of your closet laid out on the floor, would they be able to accurately describe who you are as a person? They might have an idea or two about what sort of job you have or if you are a casual or dressy type person, but do they have any clue about what makes you smile, who you love, your thoughts and ideas, your creativity? How quickly would the little bit that they think they know change if as a man, there was one shiny shirt in the back of your closet or as a woman they found a pair of combat boots. These items are clearly within our gender standards, but even these raise questions in people minds because they start to blur the lines of what we know as gender.
Think also of transsexual or transgendered people, nobody, I feel, is more impacted by gender than them. They struggle to live in mainstream society and sadly even with in the GLBT society. They are the T in GLBT, but often times the GLB can't see past their preconceived ideas of gender either. How would you feel if you spent every day of your life hating what society said you have to be because you were born male or female. Hating yourself because you can't be what everyone thinks you should.
Let a boy wear pink or play with a doll, let a girl get dirty or play with trucks. We might just find they grow up to be much more well rounded as they grow older.Wouldn't it be amazing if we could just all be who we are, and live without judging or labels. It will be a long time coming I'm sure but hopefully one day we can all just decide for ourselves like Storm and Storm's siblings get to do. I praise Storm's parents, their decision was an easy one to make for their family, but will be a tough one to live with on a day to day basis. I wish them strength and much happiness.
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